Beautiful Death and Struggling Life
What a week! That's what I've been telling so many people for the past several days. I think that it would be fair to say that this week has been the most emotionally charged week of my life thus far. I don't doubt that as I write this entry, tears will start and stop. They've been starting and stopping for the past several days.
"What's going on?" you ask. Well, last week we found out that my great aunt was not doing very well. She lives here in Phoenix. She was the aunt that mom and dad would take us over to their house every once in a while. What I remember of that house is the little adventures that Sonny and I would go on in their garden outside their trailer home. We would romp around that garden that hung on the side of a cliff, or what seemed to us like a cliff at the ripe age of 10. We also loved going over their because they had a kumkwat tree. Whenever I eat a kumkwat, for the rest of my life I will think of Floren and Maryella. Floren would also tell us these amazing stories of when he was younger and growing up. You've heard those stories before... the ones where he walked through 8 miles of a blizzard to get somewhere. He was a great story teller and I'm sure that Maryella loves being reunited with her husband right now. Maybe he's catching her up on all the stories that he has of him and Jesus walking, talking and going on adventures. Maryella was a wonderful, sweet, just darling lady! She was so loved, by so many people... you could see that just by looking at how many people were in the ICU waiting room.
That waiting room was home to some of my relatives for a couple weeks. We knew that her time could be soon but even knowing that, you're never prepared for the moment. You still think in that moment of death, "I'm just not ready for this yet! Just give me a little more time!" At least, that's what I felt when we stood in her room and watched her take her last breaths. What a sight to see! I've never been there with someone in that moment before. I've gotten the calls after that moment... but I've never been there. That moment was one of the most beautiful sights that I have ever seen! One of my cousins, when calling his mom to break the news, said, "I don't know if you can call death beautiful, but that was the most beautiful death I have ever seen." He was right. He was so right! She was being ushered into the presence of Beauty, Goodness, Love, Peace, Wonder, Safety. She was being ushered into the presence of Jesus with her family behind taking her to the gate and her family ahead opening the doors to welcome her in. Pain filled that moment for the people that were left behind, but that moment was unmistakably marked with peace. It's that peace that Jesus promises to those that are His... the peace that passes all understanding. No wonder that peace is beyond understanding... because a lot of times I think that it coexists with pain.
Let me just tell you about the beauty of that moment and some of the moments that led up to all these thoughts and emotions. She had been diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis, a disease in her lungs. Her lungs had gotten so bad over a course of time that her heart started to shut down. I think that it was one of her arteries that needed to be fixed. That's what she initially went into the hospital for, to have heart surgery. After the surgery, the doctors then said that the heart needed to regain strength because it had been so underworked. In order for this to happen, her lungs needed to kick into gear, but I don't think that the doctors realized how bad her lungs had really gotten. It was from that point on that she started to fade. Even though she started going south, she was not going to stop fighting until she was told that it was over. Wednesday morning, she was told that the fight was coming to an end and that if she wanted to, she could be sustained until her son could get there. She tried to hang on for as long as she could, but at about 5:15pm on Wednesday it was time for her go. The nursing staff began to pull everything from her except for the medicine to ease the transition. At around 5:30pm on Wednesday, Maryella met Jesus. Her son, literally ran through the halls of the hospital to make it there in the very last seconds of her life. He made it! Just think... if he would have hit one more red light or spent just a few extra seconds in his car, he would have missed seeing his mom for the last time. You can't tell me that God wasn't in control of those moments. When Dan and I were in the room, almost everyone... about 15 family members had their hand on her. The sounds that were coming for that room were, "Go be with Jesus mom!", "Hallelujah", "She's going!", "Oh grandma!", "I want to see my sister!", "I love you mom, I love you so much!", "This is a beautiful woman!" Of course, everyone was crying... everyone probably still is crying at different times.
I'll never forget that experience! I never want to! That moment makes sense of the verse, "Precious in the sight of God is the death of His saints." That certainly was a precious sight. Please continue to pray for our family and Maryella's family. Healing is always a long process for those family members.
So, amidst the experiences at the hospital we received a call from Dan's family. Last week, Rebecca, Dan and I's sister-in-law, went to the doctor for an ordinary check-up. She was 31 weeks pregnant last week. When they measured her, to theirs and our surprise she was measuring at 34 weeks instead of 31. Immediately, all I thought was that this was a very big baby. From that doctors visit, they wanted to schedule an ultrasound to check little Lincoln's measurements and just to make sure that everything was going okay. On Wednesday, the same day that Maryella passed away, Mike and Rebecca went in for that ultrasound. When the technician took a look at the baby he told them right away, "You need to go to the emergency room now!" What the technician saw and what alarmed Mike and Rebecca is that there is some swelling in the baby. I got this news that Mike and Rebecca were at the hospital when I was on my way to the hospital to be with my mom and the rest of Maryella's family. Rebecca was undergoing some tests and they'd get the results back later. At about 5:15pm on Wednesday, we got a call from Dan's dad that the doctors don't know what is going on and that they need to run more tests. They were going to admit Rebecca for several days and the baby really didn't seem to be doing well. It was then that they were going to start thinking about taking the baby. Maybe they could treat him better outside of the womb then in.
At the very same time that they were pulling the oxygen off of my great aunt, I was receiving news that my nephew was struggling for his life as well. It was in that moment that I started to ask the question, "Lord, why are you doing this all at once? Does this have to be right now?" I would venture to say that anyone would ask that question. After all, when it rains it pours right? That expression had to come from someone else who had the crap hit the fan all at once. I wonder though if that person had the reassurance that I have. I wonder if when his life seemed to be falling apart, he could hear a reassuring voice, "I'm in control. I have every moment planned out for you and your family. I'm good! I can only do what is good!" Right now, in the midst of all the pain and sorrow, that's about the only though that comforts. That's the only truth that we know right now.
Yesterday, we found out that they are going to do an emergency C-section today. Today will be our nephew's birthday. The doctors told Mike and Rebecca that Lincoln has a 50/50 chance of survival. If God does pull him through this surgery, he'll have a long road ahead of him being 8 weeks premature. The C-section is today at 11:00am. The first two hours after the surgery are the most critical.
I am just at a loss for words! I don't think that I can write much more. Our hearts are breaking! There are obvious requests for prayer:
-- Pray that God sustains our nephew. We know that His will is good and perfect.
-- Pray that Mike and Rebecca be overwhelmed with the presence of God. Especially pray for them when they see Lincoln.
-- Pray for the rest of the family to trust Jesus and be a witness for His glory. God knows what it's like to lose a son and we may need his comfort for that reason.
-- Pray whatever else God puts on your heart to pray. Beyond this, we don't really know what to pray and you may know better than us at this point.
Thank you for your love and support.
"What's going on?" you ask. Well, last week we found out that my great aunt was not doing very well. She lives here in Phoenix. She was the aunt that mom and dad would take us over to their house every once in a while. What I remember of that house is the little adventures that Sonny and I would go on in their garden outside their trailer home. We would romp around that garden that hung on the side of a cliff, or what seemed to us like a cliff at the ripe age of 10. We also loved going over their because they had a kumkwat tree. Whenever I eat a kumkwat, for the rest of my life I will think of Floren and Maryella. Floren would also tell us these amazing stories of when he was younger and growing up. You've heard those stories before... the ones where he walked through 8 miles of a blizzard to get somewhere. He was a great story teller and I'm sure that Maryella loves being reunited with her husband right now. Maybe he's catching her up on all the stories that he has of him and Jesus walking, talking and going on adventures. Maryella was a wonderful, sweet, just darling lady! She was so loved, by so many people... you could see that just by looking at how many people were in the ICU waiting room.
That waiting room was home to some of my relatives for a couple weeks. We knew that her time could be soon but even knowing that, you're never prepared for the moment. You still think in that moment of death, "I'm just not ready for this yet! Just give me a little more time!" At least, that's what I felt when we stood in her room and watched her take her last breaths. What a sight to see! I've never been there with someone in that moment before. I've gotten the calls after that moment... but I've never been there. That moment was one of the most beautiful sights that I have ever seen! One of my cousins, when calling his mom to break the news, said, "I don't know if you can call death beautiful, but that was the most beautiful death I have ever seen." He was right. He was so right! She was being ushered into the presence of Beauty, Goodness, Love, Peace, Wonder, Safety. She was being ushered into the presence of Jesus with her family behind taking her to the gate and her family ahead opening the doors to welcome her in. Pain filled that moment for the people that were left behind, but that moment was unmistakably marked with peace. It's that peace that Jesus promises to those that are His... the peace that passes all understanding. No wonder that peace is beyond understanding... because a lot of times I think that it coexists with pain.
Let me just tell you about the beauty of that moment and some of the moments that led up to all these thoughts and emotions. She had been diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis, a disease in her lungs. Her lungs had gotten so bad over a course of time that her heart started to shut down. I think that it was one of her arteries that needed to be fixed. That's what she initially went into the hospital for, to have heart surgery. After the surgery, the doctors then said that the heart needed to regain strength because it had been so underworked. In order for this to happen, her lungs needed to kick into gear, but I don't think that the doctors realized how bad her lungs had really gotten. It was from that point on that she started to fade. Even though she started going south, she was not going to stop fighting until she was told that it was over. Wednesday morning, she was told that the fight was coming to an end and that if she wanted to, she could be sustained until her son could get there. She tried to hang on for as long as she could, but at about 5:15pm on Wednesday it was time for her go. The nursing staff began to pull everything from her except for the medicine to ease the transition. At around 5:30pm on Wednesday, Maryella met Jesus. Her son, literally ran through the halls of the hospital to make it there in the very last seconds of her life. He made it! Just think... if he would have hit one more red light or spent just a few extra seconds in his car, he would have missed seeing his mom for the last time. You can't tell me that God wasn't in control of those moments. When Dan and I were in the room, almost everyone... about 15 family members had their hand on her. The sounds that were coming for that room were, "Go be with Jesus mom!", "Hallelujah", "She's going!", "Oh grandma!", "I want to see my sister!", "I love you mom, I love you so much!", "This is a beautiful woman!" Of course, everyone was crying... everyone probably still is crying at different times.
I'll never forget that experience! I never want to! That moment makes sense of the verse, "Precious in the sight of God is the death of His saints." That certainly was a precious sight. Please continue to pray for our family and Maryella's family. Healing is always a long process for those family members.
So, amidst the experiences at the hospital we received a call from Dan's family. Last week, Rebecca, Dan and I's sister-in-law, went to the doctor for an ordinary check-up. She was 31 weeks pregnant last week. When they measured her, to theirs and our surprise she was measuring at 34 weeks instead of 31. Immediately, all I thought was that this was a very big baby. From that doctors visit, they wanted to schedule an ultrasound to check little Lincoln's measurements and just to make sure that everything was going okay. On Wednesday, the same day that Maryella passed away, Mike and Rebecca went in for that ultrasound. When the technician took a look at the baby he told them right away, "You need to go to the emergency room now!" What the technician saw and what alarmed Mike and Rebecca is that there is some swelling in the baby. I got this news that Mike and Rebecca were at the hospital when I was on my way to the hospital to be with my mom and the rest of Maryella's family. Rebecca was undergoing some tests and they'd get the results back later. At about 5:15pm on Wednesday, we got a call from Dan's dad that the doctors don't know what is going on and that they need to run more tests. They were going to admit Rebecca for several days and the baby really didn't seem to be doing well. It was then that they were going to start thinking about taking the baby. Maybe they could treat him better outside of the womb then in.
At the very same time that they were pulling the oxygen off of my great aunt, I was receiving news that my nephew was struggling for his life as well. It was in that moment that I started to ask the question, "Lord, why are you doing this all at once? Does this have to be right now?" I would venture to say that anyone would ask that question. After all, when it rains it pours right? That expression had to come from someone else who had the crap hit the fan all at once. I wonder though if that person had the reassurance that I have. I wonder if when his life seemed to be falling apart, he could hear a reassuring voice, "I'm in control. I have every moment planned out for you and your family. I'm good! I can only do what is good!" Right now, in the midst of all the pain and sorrow, that's about the only though that comforts. That's the only truth that we know right now.
Yesterday, we found out that they are going to do an emergency C-section today. Today will be our nephew's birthday. The doctors told Mike and Rebecca that Lincoln has a 50/50 chance of survival. If God does pull him through this surgery, he'll have a long road ahead of him being 8 weeks premature. The C-section is today at 11:00am. The first two hours after the surgery are the most critical.
I am just at a loss for words! I don't think that I can write much more. Our hearts are breaking! There are obvious requests for prayer:
-- Pray that God sustains our nephew. We know that His will is good and perfect.
-- Pray that Mike and Rebecca be overwhelmed with the presence of God. Especially pray for them when they see Lincoln.
-- Pray for the rest of the family to trust Jesus and be a witness for His glory. God knows what it's like to lose a son and we may need his comfort for that reason.
-- Pray whatever else God puts on your heart to pray. Beyond this, we don't really know what to pray and you may know better than us at this point.
Thank you for your love and support.
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