Mold and Moving

Today is one of the hardest days to date. And yet, I can always sense when we are being prayed for. How? In the midst of insurmountable circumstances, I am calm. My depression hasn't kicked in. My heart still has such great hope that things will all turn out. Promises from God's word are readily on my lips. It may seem chaotic, but there is calm in the middle of the storm. That is how I know people are praying. That is how I hear, see, feel God near. I am so sure that there are a thousand other ways that He is. That's just my finite view.

Today, we had to get rid of a ton of stuff. I went into today so hopeful that we would get to keep so much stuff and it didn't end up that way. It made so much more sense to get rid of a ton. I am a bit in shock right now to be honest. It is hitting me that so many sentimental things are gone.

I don't honestly know what is kept and what got thrown away. Are Dan's love letters still with us? Did the last card that my grandpa wrote to me still with us? Did the kids baby slippers get kept? But, all these things have remnants of mold that we don't want to take to our new house, when we get one. Did I really need to do this? Am I living in reality or is this some alternate universe? Shock. It's hitting now, late in the night, after all the movement has stopped.

But then...guys there always has to be a "but then" or a "but God." Do you see? This is the power of the resurrection in front of us!

Bad things happen. They happen to everyone and it is no respecter of persons. If we were still living in a world where death reigned, bad things would always lead us down to the worst possible outcomes. Death would reign. But that isn't the reality that we live in. Jesus rose from the dead, guys! Death doesn't reign!! New life, resurrection, gets to spring from the worst possible things because Jesus conquered death. I can have hope that this awful experience we had today will have some light in it, throughout it and at the end of it. The resurrection guarantees for me that there is hope even in the darkest of days, when all around has been stripped away.

That has to be my hope. It has to be the ground on which we stand or death will overtake. Despair will take root in our hearts and it can lead down a dark and painful road. But don't get me wrong. It still hurts. It still felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

So where was the evidence of death being conquered today? It was found in seeing an army of people circle the wagons around our family to move, clean and pack our house. It was seen in us finding a $250 emergency fund that we lost 4 years ago. Man, God has a sense of humor with that one. It was found in the community that formed over shedding tears. It was found in the disinfectant that could kill mold spores. It was found in little kids learning to serve. It was found in people choosing to give up their Saturday to help. It was found in our trash being someone else's treasure.

Guys, God's resurrection power of fighting back darkness is all around you! And somehow, I am sure by the power of God's spirit, there will be more and more and more to come in this journey to seeking His glory. It will not be found in man made perfection. I will not be found in our meager efforts to control everything. It will not be found in a vendetta for revenge. It will spring forth from us losing our life to gain His. And that will not be easy. It will more than likely be painful. But it will be worth it!