Confession and Response
Today was corporate gathering. Since we have been at 121 Church we have gotten in the habit of calling it that. Good reminder that going to a service on Sunday doesn't mean that we are going to church. We are the church, hence corporate gathering.
Anyway, went to worship Jesus and saw God the Father in a new light today. Today we had a time of public confession. First of all, I don't know that I have ever been challenged to worship Jesus publicly like that so it was a little weird. Of course there was the typical public silence...no sounds...just breathing. I could tell that my heart was starting to beat faster and normally when that happens it means that God is asking me to speak. Speaking in big groups about Jesus isn't one of my gifts because for some reason I usually start to cry. So, I spoke up. Jesus gave me the strength to speak and the tears started to come. I confessed that my idol can be security. How often do I try to create that feeling of security in my life and in my home. What I fail to recognize and even to ignore is that Jesus is my true security. He is the only one who can control my safety, my kids, my husbands job and Moses' health. Although I didn't say it, I have been seeking to find security in Moses getting better. I know that I am not alone in this boat. We make statements like, "When he gets better, then I won't be so stressed...When we have enough money, then we'll have kids...When he gets a good job, then I won't have to worry anymore." I know that we all have that desire to want to feel set. We think that when those things in our life line up, then we'll really have what we want. Hogwash! That's right, I said hogwash. At least that is what Jesus has been showing me. He is it. He is the fulfillments of all the what-ifs, all the when this happens then I'll be happy. He's it and that is enough. He is not after changing my circumstances. He is after me! Isn't that crazy! The God of this universe is seeking after me.
As I was confessing this morning that I have really been seeking my security in Moses' health, I started to ask a hard question. Maybe not hard, just honest. How can God sympathize with me right now? He never had to live with a sick son. His son was perfectly healthy. He even knew that Jesus was going to conquer death so He knew that He would not lose his son to death. And then God showed me my stupidity. I'm his child. We are all his children. He has lived for thousands of years with children who are sick. Every single one of his children is a child that is broken with sin. Every single child is not how he intended it to be in the beginning. God knows better than I do what it means to have a sick child...He has me. Tainted with sin, not able to think as I should, talk as I should, move as I should. I am sick with this disease of sin. However, God is different and such a better parent than I will ever be. He is a parent who holds a cure for his children's disease. His cure comes not in a bottle nor in a surgery nor in a medical technique. His cure comes through a person. Jesus. When Jesus begins to heals this sickness of sin in my life, I understand the joy that it gives the Father. I see now how He is delighting in His kids finally getting healed, something that I long for with Moses. What great joy that would be to see our son healed! How we would rejoice to hear the doctors say, "His sickness does not exist anymore. It is gone." Jesus said it in another way on the cross, "It is finished."
He truly is the Great Physician, but in such a different sense then I originally thought. Praise Him for healing me! May we be administers of that healing. May we be about the mission of making our Father rejoice because He is seeing more of His children healed.
Anyway, went to worship Jesus and saw God the Father in a new light today. Today we had a time of public confession. First of all, I don't know that I have ever been challenged to worship Jesus publicly like that so it was a little weird. Of course there was the typical public silence...no sounds...just breathing. I could tell that my heart was starting to beat faster and normally when that happens it means that God is asking me to speak. Speaking in big groups about Jesus isn't one of my gifts because for some reason I usually start to cry. So, I spoke up. Jesus gave me the strength to speak and the tears started to come. I confessed that my idol can be security. How often do I try to create that feeling of security in my life and in my home. What I fail to recognize and even to ignore is that Jesus is my true security. He is the only one who can control my safety, my kids, my husbands job and Moses' health. Although I didn't say it, I have been seeking to find security in Moses getting better. I know that I am not alone in this boat. We make statements like, "When he gets better, then I won't be so stressed...When we have enough money, then we'll have kids...When he gets a good job, then I won't have to worry anymore." I know that we all have that desire to want to feel set. We think that when those things in our life line up, then we'll really have what we want. Hogwash! That's right, I said hogwash. At least that is what Jesus has been showing me. He is it. He is the fulfillments of all the what-ifs, all the when this happens then I'll be happy. He's it and that is enough. He is not after changing my circumstances. He is after me! Isn't that crazy! The God of this universe is seeking after me.
As I was confessing this morning that I have really been seeking my security in Moses' health, I started to ask a hard question. Maybe not hard, just honest. How can God sympathize with me right now? He never had to live with a sick son. His son was perfectly healthy. He even knew that Jesus was going to conquer death so He knew that He would not lose his son to death. And then God showed me my stupidity. I'm his child. We are all his children. He has lived for thousands of years with children who are sick. Every single one of his children is a child that is broken with sin. Every single child is not how he intended it to be in the beginning. God knows better than I do what it means to have a sick child...He has me. Tainted with sin, not able to think as I should, talk as I should, move as I should. I am sick with this disease of sin. However, God is different and such a better parent than I will ever be. He is a parent who holds a cure for his children's disease. His cure comes not in a bottle nor in a surgery nor in a medical technique. His cure comes through a person. Jesus. When Jesus begins to heals this sickness of sin in my life, I understand the joy that it gives the Father. I see now how He is delighting in His kids finally getting healed, something that I long for with Moses. What great joy that would be to see our son healed! How we would rejoice to hear the doctors say, "His sickness does not exist anymore. It is gone." Jesus said it in another way on the cross, "It is finished."
He truly is the Great Physician, but in such a different sense then I originally thought. Praise Him for healing me! May we be administers of that healing. May we be about the mission of making our Father rejoice because He is seeing more of His children healed.
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