Think on Such Things

I’m laying here right now, totally and completely depleted, wasted, exhausted. "What from?" you ask. My family has been put through the gauntlet with a stomach bug that has earned us one urgent care visit, two emergency rooms, and one hospital stay, all in the span of a week. And now, I lay here out of necessity because it is my turn to do battle with the norovirus. Being sick, stinks. Especially being stomach sick because it is so contagious and leaves you feeling so dirty. So, naturally I take a shower to wash off all the virus junk, try to keep this monster at bay. While I’m no longer the child who enjoys being sick because that means she gets to stay home and just watch tv all day, being sick does have one advantage. It forces me to slow down. Everything around begins to slow down and it’s no longer my fulltime job to take care of the family, I have to take care of myself too. Laying in bed has afforded some good time to just read. Not endless amounts of facebook po...

Sleep. I love, love sleep! Anyone who has known me for an extended amount of time will tell you that I sleep a lot. I pulled one all-nighter in college. Not because I was so ahead of the game but because I was willing to take a lower grade to get more hours of sleep. Sleep for me pushes the restart button. It makes my day new, even if it means taking a nap in the middle of the day. That's how I felt today, in need of a restart button. I took a nap this afternoon and I woke up feeling like this morning was a distant memory. It made it feel like God was pushing the restart button on my life. The results today were better than what I could have hoped for and God used taking a nap to wipe away all the anxiety from the days before. This morning we went to the hospital to get the results. We were pretty sure that it wasn't going to be good since the scan the day before didn't go well at all! What we were told to hope for is functioning thyroid nodules, or "hot" n...

This is the sign that I see when I go through the doors of where my test was supposed to take place. Comforting, huh? What’s going through my mind at this point is, “They are going to put radioactive material into my body!” Pretty ironic for the girl who makes her own toothpaste. Yep, I love to have things super duper natural! His ways were definitely not my ways today with that one. But, that’s what I had to do to get this test done. They broke the test down into two appointments at the hospital. One was me sitting at a table while they explained the procedure and then took a pill with all that lovely radioactive crap, sliding down my gullet. Next appointment was the actual scan. It was really two scans. One was a contraption that had the word “gamma” in it and all I could think about were all the Marvel comic movies that I’ve had the privilege of watching since I've married Dan. As I sat there, the Spirit of God which God put inside me when I believed in Jesus, re...

       Surreal. Very, very surreal. That’s the only word that I can think of for the past two months. I mean, what else do you feel when you’re trying to find out if you have cancer? Thyroid cancer to be exact. Apparently, thyroid cancer is one of, if not the most treatable cancer to have. A doctor actually said to me, “If you could choose a cancer, you would definitely want to choose thyroid cancer.” That didn’t help. And, even though it’s treatable, treatable meaning they just remove the entire organ, I’m still not comforted.                       I’ve kind of lost my faith in doctors. Now don’t get me wrong, I value the knowledge and opinion of doctors. If I wasn’t in my early thirties, I’d probably go back to school to be a doctor. I LOVE all things medical. Never knew I had this passion in high school or college. I never knew that I cared so much about how my body functioned until I had my second child. ...

Today was corporate gathering. Since we have been at 121 Church we have gotten in the habit of calling it that. Good reminder that going to a service on Sunday doesn't mean that we are going to church. We are the church, hence corporate gathering. Anyway, went to worship Jesus and saw God the Father in a new light today. Today we had a time of public confession. First of all, I don't know that I have ever been challenged to worship Jesus publicly like that so it was a little weird. Of course there was the typical public silence...no sounds...just breathing. I could tell that my heart was starting to beat faster and normally when that happens it means that God is asking me to speak. Speaking in big groups about Jesus isn't one of my gifts because for some reason I usually start to cry. So, I spoke up. Jesus gave me the strength to speak and the tears started to come. I confessed that my idol can be security. How often do I try to create that feeling of security in my life ...

Today was a good day. Actually it was more than that. This is what I mean by being more than just good. You know how when you are talking to an acquaintance and they ask you how your day is going? Everyone has been there. What is your response many a times? "It's good. How bout yours?" And you know that you say that it's good even though you may be having the worst day of your life. We've all been there. But that's not what I mean when I say that my day was good. My good means that it was filled with little snippets of praise and just fun. One of the main reasons for the good day was this morning. I've just recently discovered the pleasure of having a cup of coffee in the morning. I don't necessarily like the sensation of a caffeine jolt in the morning, because I drink decaf, but I do love the act of just sitting down and sipping a nice hot drink, especially when this morning was chilly and foggy. It's a ritual that I'm convinced some people in...

All of grace. More than ever before, God is showing me a glimpse of how my life is all of grace. How is He showing me that? Well, through the life of my little 6 month old son Moses. Moses has quite the medical history for only being on this planet for almost 6 months. I'd venture to say that he has been in the hospital more than most people will have to be in their life. He's got this problem with his muscles and his feeding. Weak heart, weak arms and back, weak suck and swallow. I guess you could say that weakness is the word to describe him. Weakness has also been the result in my life since he was born. Having a child who has medical problems brings an overall weakness or maybe more just exhaustion. Lots of doctor's visit and therapy. But enough about the circumstance. Let's get more to the God of the circumstances. You see, through all this and even just a few days ago my question and even anger at times is just why God. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you ...